The Nagualist Newsletter and Open Forum / Issue 4 Dec. 1994/Jan. 1995
Copyright 1995 by Nagualist Newsletter, all rights reserved. Individual submissions by readers and staff of the newsletter are also protected under copyright law. No portion may be reproduced without the written permission of the Nagualist Newsletter and of the individual who made the submission. Additional copies may be available at no charge.

These notes are on the same lecture series reported in issue 2. They include some notes on day 3, which was not covered in that report. We are grateful to this reader for sending these notes and once again we repeat that all notes on a given lecture are valuable, regardless of whether that lecture has already been reported. After you read these notes, we believe you will agree.

Thanks to your reader for his/her copious notes from Carlos' Santa Monica lectures. And thanks to you for printing them. Thought you might enjoy these additional remarks - recorded in my own notes from that same lecture series.

11/20/93 Lecture #1 Yes, the debt to the Phoenix Book Store was because of Carol Tiggs' appearance there.

"Search for the pattern of your life in recapitulation."

"To love without expecting anything in return takes guts of steel."

"If you truly loved yourself, you wouldn't do to your body what you normally do. You would be very considerate of it."

"There is nothing unique about any of us. But there is something magical about each of us."

A warrior puts him/herself on the "ledge of examination" - a place from which to brutally observe what goes on around us. It provides us with energy.

Warriorship gives a life purpose.

Psychotropic drugs can be useful in that they cause "tremendous cognitive dissonance" - a door to the unknown. They are not meant for pleasure.

The social order is not interested in our well-being. It does not supply us meaning or purpose. It doesn't protect us from death.

"The way to break free of the social order is discipline."

"Discipline is not following a rigid order. Discipline is fluid."

Freedom is our heritage. Freedom - "the somersault of awareness into the inconceivable."

"We're all travelers. We're all going to die. Don't you want to do something magnificent along the way?"

Accept in humility that you're going to die. Don't hide from it!

"There is a perennial force in the universe that is available to us - but we never use it. Call out to it by saying: 'I want to be responsible for the fact that I'm going to die.'

It's enough to start things happening."

"Accustom yourself to shouting out your intent to the force. Don't supplicate! If you go down on your knees, it'll piss on you."

You won't get a message back. This is a relationship you're establishing from you to it, not the other way around. It (the force) doesn't care.

Where is the world taking place? It exists in your mind! You're already a magician, so why not get a new kit!

"I'm not going to die, not having known what it's like to love for the hell of it."

And finally ...

"I am giving you the best of myself in order to bring you an hour of clarity."

I was so shaken by this first lecture, and Castaneda's awesome energy, that I found I could not make my body go to the second one. I braced myself and went back, and found after the 4th lecture that it was very painful to watch Carlos walk away - knowing I might never have the good fortune to be around him again.

Your reader covered most of my notes from the 4th lecture, which was shortened to allow time for the Chac Mools and Little Cousins to do sorcery passes. But here are some notes from the 3rd: Dreaming gives us a bonafide possibility to be free - to reach a state of consciousness where humanity doesn't count.

Shift your ideology - away from nirvana - toward freedom.

Freedom- no solace, only struggle - how exciting!

When the assemblage point is pushed out of the solid core into the fluff outside perception - it leaves a dimple. Only through discipline can you force it back.

We're twins! Right body, left body. The assemblage point drops easily to near your feet. Don't struggle - laugh! - let it happen! Bring it to the bottom and let it come up in between the two bodies. It can't go in the top.

(Mentions how in 1973 don Juan burned from within - calls it "the last round - for my eyes only.")

Stalking - using intent to hold the assemblage point in a new position - to perceive another universe.

"Drugs only give you a glimpse of other possibilities - not a sustained view."

Recapitulate to get enough energy to do remarkable things. Make your list!

"Define your desire as freedom - then the selector inside you will make the proper adjustments."

"Cut all your attachments!"

You have a marvelous machine inside you. You can use it to travel to Jupiter or use it to clean your house - or both!

The dinosaurs intended flying, and it happened! But wings are only one solution.

The seer within you will never mislead you. We stop it all the time with "But, I..." The stupid I, the whore - the one who can be bought.

Don't be timid! 
Don't get too cozy! 
Live dangerously! 
Be on the verge!

Source: Topanga, CA

Nagualist Newsletter and Open Forum/ Issue 4 Dec. 1994/Jan. 1995